“It doesn't matter if you're 13 or 63, breakups hurt. What's harder for teens is their self esteem isn't fully developed, so they're more vulnerable..." - Mary Jo Rapini
You may not be able to say the right thing to make everything better, but you can teach and guide your adolescent child about the nature of relationships and breakups. Some ideas worth talking about when your teen is experiencing heartache include:
Being single doesn't mean being alone.
It does not mean that you're not loved. You have more opportunities to try new things and meet new people. Friendships are equally valuable as romantic ties.
It takes time to heal.
It may seem like the grief or feelings you're enduring will not go away, but they will.
There will be good days and bad days, but what's more important is you're assured of your parents' presence and support through the process.
Break ups don't have to be angry.
You did love this person. While it may feel like you were betrayed, or you feel hurt, we all have the freedom to choose whether or not we want to be in a relationship. If you treat this individual properly today, you may be able to keep them in your life in the future.
You can (and will) feel love like this again.
Discuss how you may have had several relationships in the past and how you discovered you could actually feel love again.
To better know what your adolescent child is going through, understand the 7 Stages After A Break Up.
In addition, psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini offers parents 8 Ways To Help Your Teen Survive A Break-Up. These tips came from a very personal experience when her own teenage child was dealing with a breakup; and hoping these would help you, too.
In this short talk, How to fix a broken heart, Guy Winch offers compelling insights into the nature of broken hearts and how to move on —no matter where your child is in the age spectrum (whether early teen or adult).
So, we now understand that getting over a breakup takes time, and everyone's pace is different. If it has been many weeks and your teen still hasn't recovered from these feelings, or if they have persisting low mood and consistently disengages from their life and friends, it may be time to seek extra help. Reach out to JarvisHypnotherapy. We are here to help.
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