• Alex Jarvis

How to set Personal Boundaries


Having problem setting up healthy boundaries? If you feel victimized or resentful (and blaming something/someone), it could mean you haven't established your boundaries well. It’s essential to identify and implement your personal boundaries in order to thrive in relationships and career –and most importantly, for you to thrive as a unique individual.


Deciding to be firm with your boundaries isn't easy –it takes time and practice, but well worth the effort. Resentment builds up when you let others infiltrate your time, your physical space, and your mind. You feel taken advantage of...so you rebel. When translated to behavior, this could be a tantrum which leads to saying/doing things you’ll regret later on.

Some practical boundary-building methods you can use include:

  • Establish your limits

  • Be comfortable with "no"

  • Stop the fear & guilt, and start working on a safe & self-assured you

  • Listen to your gut feeling when someone crosses your boundaries

  • Be direct by clearly communicating your boundaries

  • Don't over explain yourself...just communicate with confidence, brevity, & clarity

  • Start with small boundaries (build up from there)

  • Don't shortchange yourself

  • Wait on important decisions –don't make them when you're hungry, tired, emotional, under stressed, or pressured by someone else

In this video, author & licensed psychotherapist, Sarri Gilman, talks about "Good boundaries free you." She explains how personal boundaries are just an element in the wider landscape of self-care. We have to listen to our inner compass: "yes" and "no". This compass has only one job –to take care of you. It is stress-sensitive because if we keep saying “yes” (when it should be “no”), our compass clouds over. The line between "yes" and "no" becomes blurred.


You’ve got to listen to that compass who’s saying "no" for your wellbeing. To support your compass, you must:

1. step up your self-care

2. reach out and build a web of resources

3. focus on choosing your responsibilities (let go some of the other problems)


All of us are in the middle of a life story; and, your story is being shaped by what you say "yes" to and "no" to. If you listen to your compass and tune out the noise, you'll find yourself truly in-tuned to your purpose.


If you want to learn how to reclaim your space, JarvisHypnotherapy can help you step into a renewed, empowered you. Call for consultation so we know how to best help you.

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