Intimacy, a feeling of closeness and sense of connection, goes beyond physical contact and fosters mental, spiritual, and emotional understanding in any relationship.
Intimacy is the atmosphere of trust and familiarity you create with special persons in your life as well as the glue that connects you to other people.
It goes without saying that intimacy is essential in relationships.
Reach out to JarvisHypnotherapy if you need the help of a therapist to understand intimacy and figure out a way to address your intimacy issues.
Read related: What Is True Intimacy in a Relationship?
Communication: The key to an Improved Intimacy
According to John Gottman's research, when couples make time for intimacy, their connection and satisfaction in their relationships improve. Many people may believe that the right kind of touch or the most enjoyable touch is the foundation of intimacy.
Well, it's also possible that you've run into someone who claims to be an expert in the bedroom and focuses only on technique. But, in a committed relationship, or casual ones, communication is, in fact, the key to a truly satisfying intimacy.
An important element of communication with regards to intimacy is expressing what you are comfortable with, asking for your needs, and talking about what turns you on.
There must be a discussion about sex and intimacy prior to, during, and after the contact. Being able to be honest with your partner can strengthen your relationship and make it easier to enjoy your sexual intimacy. It can help to talk together about your experience, needs, likes, and dislikes before being intimate with a new partner.
Setting the expectations can truly step up the experience. Ongoing discussions about your desires, preferences, and expectations in a current relationship can help keep the spark alive.
The other important element is being a good listener. Many of us often overlook how vital listening is to successful communication. The relationship won't work out well if we ignore what our partner is saying. It won't have a good outcome if we ignore them when they prefer to do something new or after they've expressed what they feel.
We must pay attention when our partner expresses what they enjoy or don't enjoy and tune into that. To become a better listener in the bedroom, we must ask questions and consider what we hear to be sure we understood it right.
Here are some suggestions for how to talk openly about intimacy:
- Express your expectations for the kind of intimacy you would like to have together (frequency, type, where, etc.).
- State what non-sexual touch you're comfortable with in public and in private.
- Share a bad experience or any trauma you've had that altered your view of intimacy.
- Express how you want to be touched during sex.
- Talk about a time you enjoyed the intimacy together.
- Share a fantasy you have with each other.
- Discuss how you want to communicate during sex.
- Talk about how to show or communicate that you are in the mood for intimacy.
- Discuss how you would like to communicate about refusing to be intimate when you're not in the mood.
- Decide together on some intimacy goals for your relationship.
Set a goal to work on your communication if you want to enhance your intimacy. To practice having intimate discussions, schedule a time during the week to talk about the above topics.
Like most things, communication regarding intimacy will get better the more you do it. Making these conversations a priority to improve intimacy can also strengthen your connection.
Also read: 10 Proven Ways You Can Increase Intimacy
What does intimacy look like?
Intimacy isn't just about physical touch or sex. It also comes in the form of emotional closeness, and you can see them in:
- Having deep and long conversations about your dreams, goals, fears, and various different feelings.
- Chatting about things at work while each person helps the other feel safe and understood.
- Devoting time to be together to do things that you both enjoy.
- Showing real interest in each other’s lives, feelings, hopes, and experiences.
- Being open to doing new things that your partner suggests, even if they aren't activities you would often engage in, like dining at a new restaurant, watching a new movie, going to a new place, or seeing a concert.
- Having empathy for your partner, acknowledging their feelings, and providing them with emotional support.
You feel more connected in a relationship when there is intimacy. And, open communication is the magic that brings true intimacy that you seek.
If you are struggling with intimacy issues and are unable to sort them out on your own, counseling is a great tool to help. Just simply reach out to JarvisHypnotherapy.
Plus, here are more insights from JarvisHypnotherapy on being kind to oneself: Self-Compassion: The Benefits of Silencing the Inner Critic.